ECOLOGISTS UNITE AND SAVE THE PLANET BY TAKING THE BUS!!! (UH, CAN I BUM A RIDE WITH YOU, MAN TO PICK UP SOME STUFF I LEFT OVER AT MY BUDDY’S PLACE? AND OH YEAH, COULD YOU SPOT ME A TEN? I RAN OUT OF CIGARETTES!!!)
You just gotta love all those greenies trying to save the planet you know. I’m friends with several of them. They all say to me, ‘why don’t you sell your car and take the bus? It’s much better for the environment!!!’. Then whenever I see them, or better yet, when they call me up, they inevitably want me to come over to their place or to be with them at a certain time so that I can drive them someplace in my evil carbon-spewing planet-killer.
I also get a kick out of their eco terrorist obsession with eating well, and only buying locally-produced things that are not produced by giant evil transnational corporate behemoths. Most of those same people also smoke cigarettes!!! So there goes your shop local, theory all shot to hell right there, eh? RJ Reynolds Tobacco, yep, just your friendly, neighbourhood, family-owned and operated tobacconist, since oh, about several hundred years, eh?
Next time I get told to save the planet, I’ve got a good mind to tell those folks to walk home with your stuff in your backpack, or take the bus, it passes once, oh, every thirty to sixty minutes after 6 PM, eh? And you want to really save something? Start by saving your own lungs, and go on the patch for cryin’ out loud!!!